Monday, 17 December 2007

Monday 17/12/07

So I finally got round to sending the questions for the Best Looking Reader winner.  And the best looking reader, was kind enough to send back answers and also 6 pictures of himself, to show us exactly why he won.  So here's the interview and here are the pictures.

1) What's the best thing that has come out of writing your blog?

i had a chance to use my vocabulary in a way in which i was content.  it also gave me the opportunity to ignore with impunity any complaint about my vocabulary from any plebs who may be reading my blog which one is not always able to do when conversing or writing in a work or social environment.  plus, i can talk as much crap as i want. you see, it's about me. all about me.

2) What's the worst things that has come out of writing your blog?

people can actually see how much crap that goes through my mind.  also, people seem to form a relationship with my blog and then pass judgement on not just it, but me as a person without knowing my true self.

3) How often do you get your hair cut?  Who does it for you?

i usually get my hair cut every two months or so, but am currently overdue for one. my sister cuts my hair when i ask her to on my infrequent visits to her, but mostly i utilise the nearest $10 haircut bar. and if i give the girl with the siscors a wink and a nice smile, i often only need to pay $5.

4) Describe how you would choose to spend 90 minutes with me in my flat (alone).

minute 1 - 3
checking windows doors and all other appertures and openings to make sure they are shut, locked and bolted.
minute 3 - 23
looking at you. staring at you in fact. asking you to turn around so i can see all of you. touching your chest, shoulders, arms & face gently with my fingers. feeling the outline and shape of your body. 
minute 23 - 28
kissing you while we both stand in the centre of your room.
minute 28 - 29
remember to breathe
minute 29 -34
undress you. first with my eyes. then with my hands. lifting your arms myself, turning you and getting you naked before me.
minute 34 - 34.2
undress myself.
minute 34.2 - 89
enjoy you sexually. passionately and erotically with bouts of unadulterated hedonism thrown in for good measure.
minute 89 - 90
have a satisfing cigarette. only because it seems the right thing to do. not that i actually smoke at all.

5) It's our one-year aniversary and you want to surprise me with a trip.  Where would you take us and why?

there's this small town on the west coast of the south island of new zealand on the narrow strip of land between the southern alps and the tasman sea where on the outskirts hidden in the bush is this small cottage, which by now will be in a calendar of beautiful cottages somewhere in the world.  there is nothing to do there except be one with the bush and the animals and the mountains. there we can forget the world, or let the world forget us, at least for a moment.

6) What do you have to wear for work?

work provide us with overalls to wear, of which after the first week of being there i discarded for my usual attire of steel capped boots, wollen socks, rugby shorts and one of five stolen rugby jerseys.

7) What do you consider to be your best feature?  (In physical terms)

my arse!! but some people say my eyes and the twinkleness within, or my smile and the cheekiness projected. or my arse. or ass for your american readers.

8) What are the last 3 times you left your country?  (Where did you go?)

september 2007 - sydney, australia
a birthday treat for myself which unfortunately wasn't as fun an experience as i had of wished for.
february 2003 - rarotonga, cook islands
family wedding and shag fest with local boy
december/january 2003 - sydney/brisbane/cairns, australia
holiday with family and then some friends 

9) Are you seeing anyone or are you single?

single. strangely single to most peoples eyes, but still single irrespective of whether or not a boy friend would be nice. 

10) Describe how you would choose to kill somebody.  Somebody that you loathe.

first of all, i should point out that i have never, ever, struck or hit in any way shape or form, another person (my brother doesn't count that time when i was eight).  but, i would first of all, plan plan plan and plan some more so that a) i could never be remotely implicated, b) feel any guilt or moral antipathy about the death and c) allow the victims family to extract revenge on someone not involved.  so, after choosing my victim, i'd establish a method so unlikely, so unusual, so simple in it's cunning that the police, pathologists, coroners or family would not even realise that a sinister murder had even been committed.  i would try to avoid violence towards the person, or my boss as i am now thinking of him, but cannot rule that out entirely. poison likewise, would be a no go area, unless it was a vegetable alkaloid unlikely to be detected.  i would, however, want to at some point, enjoy the death i had inflicted by a celebratory occasion. but i fear that that may lead to questions, so a private meal and drinking session with self congratulatory exclamations would be the way to go.  or i could just go shoot the fucker in the face and plead insanity.

11) Do you do all your ironing together or do you iron things just before you wear them?

i so infrequently wear a shirt that needs to be ironed, that i generally iron as the occasion arises.

12) Who is the person you feel closest to in the world?

kevin alexander smith. he gets me. knows me. understands my mental processes. and still likes me anyway.

13) Drop and give me some press-ups.  How many can you do in one go?

four. or was it forty?  i can never remember.

14) What do you find most attractive (physically) in other people?

smile. eyes. face. arms. mmmm arms. tummy and abs. attitude (i know it's not physical, but hey, so what.)

15) What's the saddest song that you know?

anyone who had a heart - dionne warwick.  full of so much hope, yet so much inevitable sadness.

16) What's the saddest phrase in the English language?

but.  i love you, but. you have lots of skills, but. i want to do this, but.  i realise it isn't a phrase, but...  :-)

And that's all from the BLR 07.  Tomorrow I'm going to write more about the sexiest guy alive (that I mentioned last Thursday), who was in the gym again today.


FitnessNerd said...

I gotta say that I completely forgot everything before and after when I saw the picture of him laying on the a moment

Tim in Italy said...

Lord, it's -2c here and the wind is hwling outside and I still need a cold shower after that little expose.

Neil said...

this guy simply does not exist in London. which makes me a little wistful. bless him. does he not read your blog??? (apologies in advance for any spelling/grammatical imperfections)

Matt said...

BLR 07 is obnoxious. Let's try for someone a bit less full of himself in '08. Also, I don't believe the bed picture. It looks fake.

woofingle said...

Does anyone else think this guy looks just like Alistair Appleton?

Stephen said...

Is it just me, or do these pictures from BLR 07 look a little fishy? If he is from NZ, the backgrounds don't really look like typical NZ scenery, and looks more North America to me. Particular the one with snow in the background. And also the B&W photo has trees which are more typical to the US than NZ.

Maybe you can ask BLR 07 to take a photo of himself with a card with London Preppy written on it?

Cooper said...

Oy, the comments that think the BLR07 winner is fake are so tiresome. I think he sounds charming, and he obviously gets this blog and the contest, which is hilarious, btw, in a good way.

kim said...

"do these pictures from BLR 07 look a little fishy? ... Particular the one with snow in the background"

Stephen - you are aware some of the best skiing slopes in the world are in New Zealand?

Stephen said...

Kim: yes but that scenery just doesn't look like a typical NZ backdrop to me. Just my opinion and happy to be proven wrong!

Stephen said...

Kim: yes but that scenery just doesn't look like a typical NZ backdrop to me. Just my opinion and happy to be proven wrong!

Anonymous said...

They're all genuine... and he is that hot... although a little nuts.