Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Wednesday 14/11/07

This is the 4th and final day in Iceland aka Friday last week. Working on the assumption that you haven’t really experienced a city if you haven’t worked out there, on Friday we decide to go to the gym. We ask three different people in our hotel where the nearest gym is and they direct us to a place called Laugardalslaug, which is 10-15 minutes on the bus from the city centre where we’re staying. This means that either there is only one gym in Reykjavik or our hotel has a deal with Laugardalslaug.

Anyway, I’m not complaining because this is actually the best gym I’ve ever been to in my life. I want to die there. This is not a figure of speech; I literally want to leave my last breath on that gym floor and then I want to be cremated and I want to have my ashes spread in the free weights area (24%), outdoor swimming pool (24%), showers (24%) and changing rooms (24%). And I want one of the Personal Trainers to snort the remaining 4%.

But before that, here’s some more about the gym. “Laugardalslaug” refers to the whole sports complex that the gym is part of. This includes an indoor swimming pool, an outdoor swimming pool, spa, football stadium, God knows what else, I can’t see, as I’ve mentioned everything is steamy and blurred in Iceland. The gym itself is called World Class I think and the website is here:

Unfortunately it’s in Icelandic so I don’t know what they’re banging on about and it really upsets me that I don’t have any readers from Iceland who could help me with this, as it’s now one of my favourite countries. Which reminds me – so many people read this. Do you not have any contacts in Iceland? If you do, can you please force them to read this blog / become my friend / adopt me? Thank you.

Anyway, back to the gym and here’s what happens there:

- We walk in and pay a day fee and I have a picture taken of my eyes and from then on I can go through the various doors by scanning my eye. I can’t think of something more exciting that’s happened to me in the last 11 years

- We head to the changing rooms (walking past the hairdresser’s, various shops on the way) and the changing rooms are as big as the postcode of London that I currently live in. Shockingly, they are also clean and the toilets don’t smell of piss, as I have come to expect from my current gym (any of the sites) in central London

- When we get changed and get to the gym floor (approximately 340 times bigger than my London one) we see that it’s very busy (in the middle of the day on a Friday), but not so busy that it’s annoying – because it’s so big. There is a great mix of people: young women, older women, muscle guys, normal guys, older men, everyone. I guess that this actually is the only gym in Reykjavik so everyone must go there. I am also particularly impressed by the complete lack of Brazilian male escorts in World Class gym, which surely is the biggest, most powerful and highly esteemed social group in central London, against all logic (this is a whole different topic actually – why are male prostitutes so respected and admired in London? Maybe I should write / rant about this one day)

- They have every machine imaginable x 5. Living in Iceland and working out in that gym, surely must leave you with no option but to have the body of a Greek statue. Only better of course, because they were a bit skinny let’s face it

- I’m not going to claim that everyone looks amazing of course, but I fall in love at least 6 times in that place. I distinctly remember two Personal Trainers working there who have an unbeatable combination of Personal Trainer body, masculine symmetrical square-jawed Northern European face, Icelandic-sky grey-coloured eyes and the skin tone of somebody who hasn’t seen the sun this decade

- After the gym workout we decide to try the outdoor swimming pool, which is once again steaming hot and in perfect contrast to the freezing weather around

- Then we go back and spend some time in the steam room and then it’s time to have a shower and think about leaving (about 3 hours after we got there). The showers are big and communal and I actually don’t have a problem having a communal shower there because the whole atmosphere is not cruisy and pervy and disgusting. Again, I think that my perspective of what to expect is slightly spoilt by central London behaviour, where I’d rather drive a convertible car with the roof down through a car wash on a daily basis to clean myself than have a shower in communal facilities

Leaving the gym in a state of controlled ecstasy (is this called zen?) I discuss with Scott whether it might be worth joining a really expensive and upmarket gym in London, in order to enjoy a similar experience on a daily basis. Then we decide that there simply aren’t any gyms in London that could offer this, and this is mainly down to lack of space rather than anything else. Even if I went to Third Space which is (I think) the most expensive gym in London I don’t think they’d have two Olympic size pools, a gym taking up 3 very large floors, 17,500 weight machines and a wide selection of Viking-blooded Alpha males with impeccable facial bone structure and grey eyes. So in conclusion, crappy ___ ___ gym will have to do.

Finally then, tomorrow, the last installment of Iceland (i.e. gay bars in) and the start of the Best Looking Reader 2007 competition.

Oh yeah and finally finally, here are some more pictures that I’ve got:

The knitting group I talked about on Monday

A glorious display of Ben & Jerry's

I want somebody to seriously try to claim that white isn't the most perfect colour that nature created (apart from when chocolate is involved in which case brown edges ahead)

I have 1 song by Emilie Simon and I've played it 4 times
I have 3 songs by Eminem and I've played them 7 times
I have 2 songs by Emma Bunton and I've played them 49 times


nylon said...

I'm sorry but blue is the best color: the light blue of the sky in a crisp winter morning, the dark blue of deep ocean, the turquoise blue of shallow sea. White is just white. Plus snow is really overrated. It's nice the day it falls and then there's weeks of hazardous brownish ugliness till it finally goes away. Yuk!!

tiger said...

London Puppy,

Eye scanners in a gym? That is amazing and cool.

Yes, you really should write/rant about the brazillian deal - that's something we all would enjoy. Honestly, it sounds quite bizarre (and therefore, interesting).

Regarding white as the be-all-end-all - I have a friend of dubiuous ethnicity who claims western society, in all manner of things, favors white over black. Examples of this conspiracy include such phrases as, "pure as the driven snow", "Snow White", "White House", "Seek the Light", etc.. (WHITE) and "Black Magic", "The Dark Side", "Blacklist", etc.. (BLACK).

I have to agree with him to a point. Your thoughts puppy?

London Preppy said...

nylon: This is how I decide what my favourite colour is: try to imagine what the world would look like of EVERY SINGLE THING (objects - not people of course) was one colour. I personally would love a glowing white world. I can't imagine a blue world would look as nice

tiger: That's an interesting point. I tried to find examples of the opposite happening but I couldn't think of any. Maybe your friend is right. Following on this assumption, I guess I'm a victim of the Western civilisation conspiracy myself, but at least I've bene brainwashed to such an extent that I just don't know any better!

Jon C said...

"And I want one of the Personal Trainers to snort the remaining 4%." HILARIOUS!!!

I was wondering where you were going with the percentage breakdown of your body, but definitely did not see that coming. :)

London Preppy said...

jon: It's funny because it's true

Tim in Italy said...

You may wish to note that 250 million years ago there existed a condition called "snowball earth", because the planet was completely covered by two gigantic ice sheets, one emanating from each pole and meeting at the equator. Needless to say, we won't be returning to this type of condition anytime soon, but you can at least dream about it and know that it was once as you imagined it.

tiger said...


I am always coming up with opposites just to mess with him. But it is much harder. Here are a few with positive CONNotations and some white ones that are negative:

Black and Tan (drink and ice cream creation).
Brown Sugar.
Black Belt.
Dark & Stormy (Drink).
Dark Side of The Moon.
"Black is Beautiful"
In the Black
Black Angus

White Trash
Vanilla Ice (ding, ding, ding - da da - ding ding).
Grand Master Wizard.
White Elephant.
White flag.

Come to think of it, white could be the color of Nihilism.

London Preppy said...

tim: What a great concept. Thinking about this (the polar sheets meeting at the equator) is making me happy

tiger: Excellent list - obviously I gave up too quickly!

Timmy said...

I *heart* the eye scan at the gym! And the facility sounds awesome. Does it make you feel good to know that someone is jealous of you? :-)

PS In your will, will you designate which of the trainer(s) gets to snort the 4%?

DAMO said...

dunno if this is of any help (probably won't be because it is badly kinda translated.

But here is a sort of translated URL, anyway the webpage in (bad and lame) English(ish):

see if u can make anything of it, I can't. lol

I so miss the snow! Thanks to mr global warming, England seems to get nothing. I do miss the days when I would see some poor old person slip. Next minute ambulance lights flashing, stretchers and I am flicking through my before and after pics.

Anyway, before I go off on one, I must say how amazing it is that the idea of this current adventure holiday all began with you watching an episode of Frasier! Cool! lol


B said...


I don't live in London, but a friend of mine told me that Reebok Sports Club is amazing

With that said, it's in Zone 2, so that in itself is probably a no-no for you! :)

London Preppy said...

timmy: Yes, I definitely have in mind the trainer that should snort me. In the gym, they also had TV screens that showed their names and email addresses, but I never saw his actually

damo: Wow, well rememebred, it was inspired by an episode of Frasier!

b: That does look like where I'd like to be going. Problem is that it's the opposite direction of where I live / work so it would take ages to get there and back every day

Ben said...

So something more exciting than the eye-scan happened to you eleven years ago? What was it?

Russell said...

You remind me of a gay connection to whiteness: Somerset Maugham / Syrie Maugham / Beverley Nichols:

But I'd go for blue - the aquamarine of the Indian Ocean this morning and the deep blue of it at sunset (two swims a day now!).

Are you suggesting that you've taken so many drugs that to snort even 4% of your ashes would induce a transcendental experience?

Trevor said...

Just the idea of the outdoor pool is great - the mammoth gym sounds like fun - but eye scanners? I know it's science fiction like fun - but this world is seeming increasingly policed every day! Wouldn't it be nice to be a little less monitored everywhere we go?

LP, will we see you wearing a completely white ensemble in a street near you anytime soon? Step 1 towards your pure white world...

London Preppy said...

ben: Well 11 years ago I was 16 and heavily into music, so any time a new album came out I was very excited. It was very easy

russell: :-) I love that link thanks

trevor: I don't know...white trousers trouble me...

London Preppy said...

matt: Was just thinking of some old northern soul singer. Random choice