Sunday, 25 November 2007

Sunday 25/11/07

I’m writing this on the tube on a Sunday afternoon.  I’m on the Circle Line and I’m going home.  This weekend I am very annoyed with everything and on some level I understand that maybe I’m overreacting, but I can’t help how I’m feeling.  Or maybe I am not overreacting and everything is wrong.  Yes, that’s definitely it. 

So these are the events that happen this weekend. 

On Saturday afternoon Scott and I go to the gym, one of the gyms in zone 2, where we don’t go very often.  We do shoulders and abs and there’s a guy there who’s in his late early 40s, but he thinks he’s younger, he’s hanging in there through a fake tan and some Botox injections.  He has big arms in a stretched, drained steroid way and he has no legs (i.e. no leg muscles) and he has an annoying upturned nose and very short dark hair.  I assume that he’s a gay.  Due to his only merit of having overdeveloped arm muscles, Scott is attracted to this person.  Due to the fact that he’ an old guy who’s still relying on sunbeds, going to the gym and cosmetic surgery to get some self worth, I am repulsed by him.  I try to reason with Scott that he’ is not worth looking at twice, but Scott can’t see past anyone’s muscles. 

This I reason 1 why I’m annoyed. 

On Saturday evening Scott is working and I’ve stayed at home and after having my dinner and going to Tesco to do my weekly shopping I decide that maybe I should be a nice boyfriend and go to his house to surprise him when he gets back from work.  Scott lives at the margin of zone 2, on the District Line.  I don’t now how they even let the District Line anywhere near London, because it’s a complete joke, completely unreliable and moves at its own pace. 

So I know that something will go wrong, it will take about 2 hours to get there etc, but I don’t mind – I have my iPod and my new book with me.  I can deal.  

Of course it goes even worse than I had imagined, because halfway there the tube stops and they tell us that we have to get a replacement bus instead.  I try to stay clear of buses band every time one finds its way into my life inevitably something will happen to piss me off.  This time, about 45 minutes after I have set off from home and still 15 minutes away from Scott’s, it occurs to me that I’ve forgotten the keys to his house. 

It’s 2315, Scott finishes work at 0030 in central London, it would take him half an hour to come back and I’m stuck somewhere in zone 2/3 with nowhere to go. 

This is reason 2 why I’m annoyed. 

So just before midnight on this Saturday night, I find myself alone in a suburban pub with a pint of bitter and book, taking pictures of this rare sight on my phone.   And this is one of those pictures:

 

I have no intention to drink this beer of course – I haven’t drunk alcohol in the last 3 years or so and right now I’m feeling quite annoyed with being stuck there but not as self destructive as to drink a pint of beer. 

And this is what else happens in this pub: 

Some jukebox is playing Self Esteem by The Offspring followed by Come Out And Play by the Offspring, somebody drops a pint, a group of people sing Happy Birthday for a friend twice, No One Knows by Queens Of Stone Age comes on, I am feeling restless, there are two people I fancy, I miss the time when I was living in zone 3, before the gay and the drugs and the sickness and the magazines covers, I look at the people around me and I envy them, Smells Like Teen Spirit plays on the jukebox, I pray that I could turn back time, I quickly lose my faith again, I steal somebody’s baseball cap that I find on a chair, I have no one to flirt with, I wish I could drink my beer and not worry about my abs, I consider going in the toilet and crying, I go in the toilet and put a toilet roll in my laptop bag, I ring Andrews but he doesn’t pick up, I consider getting a job collecting glasses in this pub, I wonder if that would make me happier, I’m wearing a white shirt from DKNY and a rugby top from the Gap and Energie jeans and Timberland boots with the laces undone, Scott rings me to tell me that he’s back home now. 

Then I go find him and sleep. 

On Sunday afternoon, Scott and I are on his motorbike driving around town and we go past the Abercrombie shop in Mayfair and there’s a long queue outside.  This is the first time I’ve actually seen the Abercrombie store, because I have deliberately avoided it since That Story happened.  

Infuriatingly, Scott actually stops outside the entrance, looks in, asks me “what can you see”, I hit him, we both see two girls in bikini tops and a guy with his shirt off standing there, Scott says “wow he has great abs”, I get really pissed off, tell him to drive off. 

I can’t think of anything more embarrassing and cringe-worthy than stopping outside the Abercrombie store to peek inside and catch glimpse of the shirtless door model.  This store is created to appeal to either 15-year old boys that will never grow into men, or 55-year old lecherous old men who have spent a closeted life lusting over the former. 

For somebody like Scott to stop there and stare at some daft model like a desperate queen, it just pisses me off so much.  For fuck’s sake, we ARE those people – we don’t need to stand there and ogle them.  It’s instances like this when I’m actually so pleased to have an attitude and a superiority complex.  (Well…the times when I don’t have self esteem issues and an inferiority complex anyway). 

This is reason 3 why I’m annoyed. 

I think next time I’m looking for a boyfriend I’ll make sure I pick somebody with a bit more dignity and a bit less of a muscle fetish.

24 comments:

A said...

Seems as though Scott has done more to piss you off than keep you happy lately, London Preppy. Is he just oblivious to how his behavior affects you, or does he not care? You sound fairly disgruntled...this coupled with repeated references to moving onto another boyfriend throughout your posts of the last while (since before your Iceland trip) make me wonder: are those facetious, or do you really want to find someone new, but are afraid to make the leap into the void?

Personally, of the two of you, I think you're much hotter and could easily have your pic of available, quality Londoners, should you desire it. If these things outweigh the positives of having a boyfriend who either doesn't know or doesn't care that he's annoying you to distraction, then I say dump Scott, find a rebound guy for something utterly meaningless (perhaps your contest winner?), and then move on to someone who more closely meets your criteria.

But what the fuck do I know...

London Preppy said...

a: Well our relationship is a bit like that. We do have different tastes and views on most things. That's not to say that we don't get on, it's just very temperamental. And we always joke that we will find somebody else that's better suited to us.

I'd say this is how our relationship has always worked and it's not a recent turn for the worse...

DAMO said...

You look soo sad in that picture!

Well, statistics tell me, that the steroid bank/tan addict will be dead in the next year so don't worry about him.

I love the class distance zone thing with you and your boyfreind! Very noble of you lol

And as for the abercrombie thing...I'll say no more

Alchohol?!!!

Soup!!!??

What is going on?! hehee


Oh yeah here is my playlist from this yr

My top 15 most played songs of 2007

1. Prezioso and Marvin - touch me (Alex Martello edit)

2. Róisín Murphy - Let me know

3. Thea Austin - Fascinated

4. Cappella - House energy revenge (Brescia electro mix 2007)

5. TV Rock - Bimbo

6. Degrees in motion - Do you want it right now (Haji and Emanuel remix)

7. Anticappella - Movin to the beat 07

8. Tiga - Time to kill

9. Kate Ryan - Voyage voyage

10. Pet Shop boys - Integral

11. Beck - Time bomb

12. Tracey Thorn _ It's all true

13. Vitalic - My freind Dario

14. Cappella feat Loleatta Holloway - Take me away (boyvox mix 07)

15. Sandy Chambers - Play my music


And my top 5 albums I bought in 2007 are:

1. Tiga - Sexor
(Special edition 2 disc) Sooo good I bought it twice!)

2. Digitalism - Idealism
(new daft punk? not yet)

3. Armand Van Helden - Ghetto blaster
(love that 1988 sound!)

4. Benassi Bros - Pumphobia
(corona and whigfield are on this!)

5.
Ladytron - 604
(though it was actually from 2001, but it could have been made today!)

DAMO said...

You look soo sad in that picture!

Well, statistics tell me, that the steroid bank/tan addict will be dead in the next year so don't worry about him.

I love the class distance zone thing with you and your boyfreind! Very noble of you lol

And as for the abercrombie thing...I'll say no more

Alchohol?!!!

Soup!!!??

What is going on?! hehee


Oh yeah here is my playlist from this yr

My top 15 most played songs of 2007

1. Prezioso and Marvin - touch me (Alex Martello edit)

2. Róisín Murphy - Let me know

3. Thea Austin - Fascinated

4. Cappella - House energy revenge (Brescia electro mix 2007)

5. TV Rock - Bimbo

6. Degrees in motion - Do you want it right now (Haji and Emanuel remix)

7. Anticappella - Movin to the beat 07

8. Tiga - Time to kill

9. Kate Ryan - Voyage voyage

10. Pet Shop boys - Integral

11. Beck - Time bomb

12. Tracey Thorn _ It's all true

13. Vitalic - My freind Dario

14. Cappella feat Loleatta Holloway - Take me away (boyvox mix 07)

15. Sandy Chambers - Play my music


And my top 5 albums I bought in 2007 are:

1. Tiga - Sexor
(Special edition 2 disc) Sooo good I bought it twice!)

2. Digitalism - Idealism
(new daft punk? not yet)

3. Armand Van Helden - Ghetto blaster
(love that 1988 sound!)

4. Benassi Bros - Pumphobia
(corona and whigfield are on this!)

5.
Ladytron - 604
(though it was actually from 2001, but it could have been made today!)

London Preppy said...

damo: What's the Time to Kill Tiga song? Haven't heard of it. I can't even find it to download.

And Kate Ryan has a cover of Voyage?!

Mixed-Up said...

Hey Prep,I was trying to post a comment earlier but somethin went crazy-my username/password, I dont know.

Guess I had a bad day too hehe. Here's Daniel Powter 'Bad Day' for you...

Have yourself an ice cream and dont worry abt your fine abs mate.

Toby said...

"I think next time I’m looking for a boyfriend I’ll make sure I pick somebody with a bit more dignity and a bit less of a muscle fetish."

Sometimes I suspect my boyfriend thinks that of me.

This was a very open and honest entry. More of these please. Does your boyfriend read your blog? Mine would be upset (understandably, in my opinion) if I blogged about our occasional troubles.

London Preppy said...

mixed-up: Got this song :-) thanks

toby: No, he doesn't read the blog, even though I don't write anything that I don't tell him anyway

damo: Thank you, you know why

Neil said...

'a' is talking rubbish. your relationship, from what you write, actually sounds pretty cool. Sure everyones boyf has annoying habits, or occasionaly does annoying things (normally when your actually in shitty mood yourself....funny that) As for your post. i found it more uplifting than most of your other stuff, though less amusing. its a tough trade off. faux-humility or pseudo-ironic-vapidity? and yes i do feel like an idiot for writing that pompous and almost meaningless last line!

keep it up dude.

London Preppy said...

neil: Cheers for that - good points about being more annoyed with your boyfriend etc when you're in a bad mood. Also, I agree, I'm quite confident that my relationship is not doing too badly, I write many things in a humorous way

Christopher said...

Completely understand being with someone rather dissimilar to you. I don't think I could stand someone like me. I’ve clashed hideously (and publicly) in the past with one or two people I’ve seen who are rather too similar for comfort.

It probably reflects on my self image, but that isn’t a thread that needs pulling.

Be careful what you wish for about drinking and acting out of character. After months of abstaining, I’m part of a small group that got ridiculously trashed and marred an otherwise tea-total and heavily Christian wedding this weekend. Meh. Guess I won’t have to go to any christenings though.

London Preppy said...

christopher: Hmm, I don't know. I am planning on getting drunk at some point soon. I think I've missed it

Jon C said...

Sorry to hear about your annoyances.

Here's hoping to you not looking for a new boyfriend anytime soon.

B said...

Hey LP, Just fyi, since you switched to the Mac your blog can't be read through Google Reader anymore...all your posts show up blank in that, Maybe that's intentional so that you get more hits :)

Wyler said...

Jane Austen lives (sorry, Bret Easton Ellis) and you’re a character in her early 21st Century novel of English manners, Gay Pride and Prejudice. LP/Darcy: “For fuck’s sake, we ARE those people – we don’t need to stand there and ogle them.” And perhaps you’ll find a more perfect boyfriend when you go clubbing, but then again maybe you’ll realize that Scott is pretty perfect after all. Wedding bells ring, confetti swirls, music swells. The End (or not). Sorry, guess I'm a bit of a romantic. Anyway, be happy.

Wyler said...

You've inspired me. There's an Abercrombie & Fitch store directly across the street from my apartment. Think I'll get drunk and go piss in their doorway!

London Preppy said...

b: Really? I hadn't even made the connection between Google Reader and hits that I was missing. All I can say is HA! :-)

Russell said...

Questions:

How come you always seem to be doing abs, chest .... but not legs? I don't even know about muscles, but surely you have to do legs?

Which leads me on to: why do you use the tube instead of riding a bike? The last time I was in London was 1973, so things might have changed a bit, but if not a bike, one of those motor scooters? I thought the London tube was a very dispiriting experience - to be avoided if possible. (The only underground I've ever really liked is the Hong Kong one).

London Preppy said...

russell: The key word in your first question is "seem". I have 5 gym days: Day 1 is chest, Day 2 is back, Day 3 is arms, Day 4 is shoulders, Day 5 is legs. And then start over again. I guess when I've written what I did in the gym, it's happened that it's (randomly) been one of the first four days.

As for cycling, I don't do any cardio at all because I lose weight if I do. And that's not a good thing. My metabolism is insanely high. That's why I stopped running.

Russell said...

As someone who has never set foot in a gym I can't tell what such a workout does for your mind, but 'cardio' in the great outdoors (parks in the case of London?) is a wonderful balancer. Maybe that's what your routine is missing - mental release via repetitive movement and deep breathing. Have some chocolate as a reward, then some ice-cream.

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Sigh. I love Brett Easton Ellis. I'm beginning to love your blog.

Rob said...

Please fix your blog so it works again in Google Reader. You'll still get the hits recorded. There are a lot of iPhone users out there who use it! Thanks,
-Rob

London Preppy said...

rob: This actually started happening when I switched to mac. I don't know hoe to fix it - any ideas? I wouldn't mind about the hits even if it meant I didn't get all of them. Let me know if you know how to fix this, thanks

alex said...

Hey LP, Just fyi, since you switched to the Mac your blog can't be read through Google Reader anymore...all your posts show up blank in that, Maybe that's intentional so that you get more hits :)


b: Really? I hadn't even made the connection between Google Reader and hits that I was missing. All I can say is HA! :-)

THERE IS WAY AROUND IT AFTER ALL WHICH IS TO CLICK TO LEAVE A COMMENT, THEN CLICK ON "SHOW ORIGINAL POST" AND FOR SOME REASON POST REAPPEARS, THOUGH IT IS SOMEWHAT ANNOYING TO HAVE TO DO IT, THOUGH I STILL DO