Saturday, 24 November 2007

Saturday 24/11/07

So on Thursday I’ve got the day off work and there’s somebody coming to install a Sky satellite dish on my roof.  Blatantly spending 5 hours a day watching rubbish Greek TV is not enough for me, and now I want the worst of British as well. 

Making small talk with workmen is something I find particularly hard to do, as they invariably have two topics of conversation: football and pussy.  And I don’t claim to be an expert on either of those.  

Despite this, Thursday actually goes OK, something which can be put down to the following facts: 

-   The Sky guy (let’s call him Colin) takes an instant liking to me because of my TV.  “That’s a nice TV you’ve got there Mr Preppy.  How much did that set you back?”

-   Colin also likes the area that I live in.  We discuss that there are some amazing houses around and concede that my building is the worst on my street and my flat isn’t in the best condition ever, but it’s a good size.  “How much is your rent here”, asks Colin

-   There are mixed messagess when you come to my house with regard to assessing my sexuality.  For example there is a massive picture of supermodel Gisele Bundchen in a compromising position hanging on my living room wall (straight) but right next to it is a picture of me leaning against a toilet door in a club minutes before passing out with my shirt off (bent).  There are lots of pictures of the Greece football team winning the Euro 2004 (straight) but there is also a Sex And The City boxset and a vinyl doublefold of The Immaculate Collection on a shelf next to the couch (bent).  And of course there is the floor-to-ceiling Nike advert with Josh Lewsey running towards an imaginary try, which can be taken either way I guess.  I suspect Colin goes for the straight option because out of all those things he only comments on the Gisele picture

-   When the conversation inevitably turns to football (England was playing the night before) I manage to blag it and pass the blue collar test, as I have been lucky enough to have been really bored and watched part of the game.  I score extra points by having watched the Greece game too (they were also playing the night before) and provide some extra sporting information not even Colin knew (what a fag). 

Then Colin leaves and I stay at home watching my new TV, playing on the internet and eating soup.  I’m eating soup because I’m feeling quite sick (a quick diagnosis from Donnell via telephone implies gastroenteritis), which also gives me a great excuse to skip the gym.  

Mind you, I’m not complaining, if you’re going to get sick I would definitely recommend gastroenteritis, it does wonders for your abs even more so than a moderate coke binge. 

In the evening I go to Scott’s house and spend the night there (eating more soup) and when we wake up on Friday he starts watching Star Trek repeats, which is his favourite TV programme.  I find Star Trek quite intolerable and it just confirms Scott’s seminally bad taste in everything (men, TV, music, food, clothes, décor) so I collect my stuff, leave, go in a book shop, buy Slaves Of New York by Tama Janowitz, take the tube, go to the gym, do chest and abs, go home. 

At home I set my new internet connection on my Mac quite effortlessly, even manage to set up the wireless, and plan to never leave the house again.  I’m proud to say that this is the first time I’ve typed the blog and also posted it online using the Mac.  I have even disconnected and stored away my PC.  So well done me. 

Finally, I wanted to say that I’m going clubbing again soon (I’m not saying when or where) but it’s going to be in the next 10 days, so you can look forward to reading some more clubbing stories, just like we used to make them here on this blog back in the day. 

Oh yeah and here’s the Gisele picture I have in my living room.


seahorse said...

yeah one always expects a goodlooking workman to come round and service ya pipes or sumfink like in desperate housewives or any other relevant TV show but, it just doesn't happen that often in the bent world now does it.

they just want chat. then you offer them a cuppa tea and wave them off hopefully once you've ooohed an aaahed at the crack in the bum when they down under.

now on an other note, bobby's got a spare toilet lying around, get him to photoshop it for you with gisele then u have a similair pic for home so u dont get them workers guessing too much in future!

lol have a good weekend in.

listen, I spent 4 hours this morning reading up on, I don't find it that exciting on a comparison level to LP's blog. So well done, although I'm not being demoralizing unto VB's site. I'm sure his sweet in general but where he finds himself similair to u, I'm not so certain are u?

Toby said...

What kind of TV did you get?

Will said...

Hey Mr LP,

How's it going? Long time no speak, been on my travels too in sunny Florida:)

You should have bought your Mac laptop in the states, I got an iPod Touch $120 cheaper than in the Apple shop here!


woofingle said...

"what a fag"


London Preppy said...

toby: Some stupidly big Sony tv - that makes me happy. Story of buying the TV is here:

Knight said...

HA! Gastro.. nasty in terms of having to run to the toilet but does wonders for the abs (not that yours need further defining ;-)) And congrats on the wireless! Now you can gastro + online at the same time ;-)

fuzzy logic said...

Something's wrong - cos your post in ole boring Arial 12 pt font - what's up with that?? Must be that crappy 1.5K laptop you bought.

george said...

i think scott has very good taste in me....they're just a bit psycho.....and star trek is good....i'm liking scott alot more even with the love handles.....;-)

Russell said...

As I remember the best thing about Slaves of New York was the title.

Why does Gisele remind me of a preying mantis?

London Preppy said...

knight: I like the use of "gastro" as a verb. Well done

fuzzy: Wow, another negative comment. What does it feel like to be so bitter? Please share. (Ha)

george: I'm beginning to think that maybe you can have him actually

russell: About 15 pages in I am starting to be a bit doubtful myself

DAVID said...

I laughed at the "(What a fag)" comment too. I didn't expect that from you!

alex said...

what happened here? can we read original?