Monday, 5 November 2007

Monday 05/11/07

So on Saturday and on Sunday Scott and I go to a whole different gym to the ones we usually go to – of course it the same chain but a different site. This one is in west London, in a suburb where lots of Australians / South Africans / etc live. Because it’s not central London, most of these people are straight.

The bad thing about straight guys is that they are very infrequently hot. The good thing is that when you do find the odd one that is hot, he’s hotter than 6.5 groomed, tanned, plucked and preened gays put together.

This weekend, we’re actually lucky enough to encounter 2 of those straight guys. I won’t go into it in great length because I’m sure the gym talk gets boring, but: the Saturday guy has amazing intense arms, not great legs and a good face and the Sunday guy has amazing intense arms, great legs and an almost OK face. What elevates both those guys above human levels of attraction in my eyes though, is that they’re both extremely pale / white. I think I’m getting to the stage where if somebody’s glowing white I have more chance of fancying them then if they’re muscled. No wait, I take that back, they have to be both glowing white AND muscled.

And here’s a picture of somebody who combines both and even though I don’t like the face much, it gives you a good idea of what I’m talking about in terms of skin tone (well he could be just a little paler but I can’t find any better pictures, it seems that everyone on the internet has to have a stupid fake tan – including me of course).

Anyway, as I’m flying to Iceland tomorrow (current temperature -4 to 2 degrees C) on Monday I have to pack. And this is what I’m taking with me, carefully laid on my bed at 1330 on Monday afternoon.

In the picture we see:

1: One pair of brown leather Gucci boots (which I don’t like wearing in adverse weather conditions because I’m scared I’ll ruin them), one pair of brown Timberland boots (which I don’t like wearing because they are fucking hard and painful and I can’t walk in them), one pair of Nike Air Force One white trainers (which only go with shorts so I can’t really wear in Iceland anyway).

2. Three pairs of jeans (2 pairs from Diesel, 1 pair from Energie). I don’t know how well a pair of jeans manages to keep you warm in sub-zero temperatures so I’m also taking…

3. …a pair of candy striped (white / pale blue / pink) pajama bottoms from H&M and my old tae-kwon-do trousers to wear underneath my jeans (must dress in layers).

4. Two big coats. One navy blue pea coat from Ralph Lauren and one white, waterproof coat from Polo Sport by Ralph Lauren, which should help me blend in with the snow and avoid aggressive reindeer if circumstances call for it.

5. Six pairs of football socks to be worn on top of each other (simultaneously). Also there, two pairs of gloves (one pair of black leather gloves from Hugo Boss, one pair of grey woolen gloves form Replay to be worn in top of each other (ditto).

6. Old t-shirt, old pair of shorts to wear in bed at night. Naturally t-shirt will be tucked in underwear, shorts will be added on top, football socks will be worn pulled up to the knees.

7. Long sleeved tops. These include 2 jumpers from Lyle & Scott, 1 jumper from H&M, 1 Dolce & Gabbana sweater, 1 sweat top from Boxfresh.

8. Two long sleeved shirts (1 pink from H&M, 1 blue striped one from the Gap) to be worn underneath sweaters, for that timeless “Mummy taught me to dress in layers” look.

9. Short sleeved tops. Three t-shirts, three polo shorts. Amazingly, none of these tops are skin tight and disgustingly revealing, as I’m only planning to wear them underneath jumpers / other tops for layering.

10. Headwear. The highlight of the trip for me. One knitted hat bought from market stall in Athens, one wool and fur lined trapper hat from Kangol. I have great hopes for this hat, as it’s my best shot at fitting in with the locals.

11. Scarves. One navy blue scarf from Marks & Spencer’s (acquired through office secret Santa 2 years ago), one brown and purple striped scarf from Prada (stolen from sister). This is my only opportunity to wear scarves with good reason, as I generally consider scarf use superfluous and very gay.

12. Six pairs of underwear. Five pairs of white cotton boxers from Marks & Spencer plus one pair of green cotton boxer briefs with tropical pattern from Bjorn Borg (to spice things up).

13. Black carrier bag from Pringle. This was a very hopeful assumption, before I laid enough clothes to stay in Iceland for 6 months on my bed. Old black hard suitcase with broken wheel will have to be used instead.

I’m back on Saturday but I will most likely post when I’m there. I mean what else is there to do really when you’ve tired of looking at bleeding ice / hearing Scott’s stories?

In the meantime, leave us a comment or sumfink or nuffin. Also, send some pictures in for the BLR 2007 competition. The deadline is at midnight this Saturday, so (as Tim pointed out) can we have some last minute entries please? £10 people. £10. And you get to spend one night on this amazing bed – seen above – with me (after you help me put the clothes away perhaps).

I have 11 songs by Echobelly and I've played them 39 times
I have 17 songs by Editors and I've played them 116 times
I have 1 song by Edony and I've played it 6 times


tyler said...

snow white bodies with the blue veins showing: i can see your attraction. but it leads me to believe that you would hate it here in santa barbara where it is almost always sunny and my buds and i walk around wearing practically nothing and take any opportunity to strip off the ole top and lay out for a REAL sun-derived tan, huh?

Tim in Italy said...

And how many Sherpas are you planning on bringing?

Trybaby said...

Yes, I find this to be true also. How do these straight men have this magic power. Maybe if I start to look desperate for pussy I'll look as hot as they do ... or work out regularly.

Wow that man IS glowing. I couldn't imagine a paler man. If he were paler I don't think we could tell him apart from the background. Is that man naturally pale? He looks like he's had make up put on to look that pale. What is it about pale skin that you like? That because it's pale you can see all the imperfections but more importantly the lack there of? That he looks pretty close to a marble statue?

You forgot the all important tribute to the prize of winning.

I hope you have a gay time in Iceland. Gay as in great. Remember to take lots of silly pictures! Oh and visit the hot springs, they have those don't they? Don't forget to take Scott's passport for him so he can't forget it.

Trybaby said...

Oh and I really like your knit hat : D

London Preppy said...

tyler: Good point on the blue veins. You obviously know what I'm talking about

tim: Just one or two...

trybaby: I think what I like about pale skin is what you point out - the lack of imperfections. It seems that with a tan you can cover many things.

I'm so split personally between pusruing a glowing white look (i.e. I'll stop going on sunbeds etc) or the perfect tan. Don't know what might worj better for me

Also, Scott gave me his passport so we don't forget about 2 weeks ago!

Andre said...

Extremely pale bodies remind me of the movie The Cell. And bleach. That's why I like them too.

I loved the Polo Sport camouflage device you are adopting, those reindeers can be vicious.

You know that in Italy it's considered bad luck to lay a hat on the bed? But I'm sure it's all bullshit..

Have a great time!!

London Preppy said...

andre: I'm very pleased there are other pale body worshippers out there. In fact maybe I'll make this a feature and post a glowing white body picture once a week

seahorse said...

hi LP..

quicky, have a good trip, and bring some ice back for my xmas tree display please!!!


Silly Billy said...

I am soooooo jealous. I have always wanted to go to Iceland.

Take lots of pics please :)

DJ said...

Hey LP,

What about your hot water bottle? How will you survive in Iceland without that?! Have a great holiday!

I'm loving all these comments about people liking pale skin. As someone who has pale skin I can honestly say I detest my skin colour!

chrispeaper said...

Do you not have a valance for your bed?

London Preppy said...

silly billy: Promise ot take lots of pictures: blending in with the snow, in the hot springs, riding a moose, everything

dj: What a good idea, thanks!

Trevor said...

Don't forget your toothbrush!
The Frenchman and I are planning a trip to Iceland next (european) summer because we like the idea of 24 hour sunlight - but right now, given the almost complete darkness, I'm expecting you'll find loads of very white men - (though you're going to have to get all their layers off to see their radiant whiteness...)

Knight said...

LOL LP! You certainly don't travel light hahaha ;-)

Was it like that when you went back to Greece? Anyways you'll probably need them lot to keep you warm and SO have no reason for hiding in bed and NOT posting =))

Have a FANTASTIC trip!

London Preppy said...

trevor: I'm already getting excited about the ghostly white guys!

knight: When I go back to Greece I only take hand luggage - I hardly take anything with me. I do need all these clothes for Iceland of course though

London Preppy said...

chrispeaper: No, do I need one of those?

A said...

Happy Guy Fawkes from the US. Safe travels, LP...

Dave said...

I think you're packing too much for such a short time. Have you heard of the old saying about packing, and then putting half of it back. When I got back from London a couple weeks ago, there were things in my bag that I never wore. I coulda got by with less.

Also, watch your carry-ons through Heathrow. They only let you take ONE carry on, whether it be a lap top, purse, or whatever. I had my laptop and a bag of English candy bars to take back. I had to jamb all the chocolate in my bag when I realized it was either the laptop or candy that had to be checked. I wasn't going to let my laptop get checked and be out of sight.

chrispeaper said...

Yes - your bed isn't fully dressed without a valance - box valance would probably be the best for a young stylish chap like yourself - you dont have to see the base of the bed then - even though it appears to be burberry - or does that make it even worse and chavtastic.

Enjoy your trip - and remember - don't eat the yellow snow.

London Preppy said...

dave: I usually would take very little, I'm just worried about the prospect of freezing over there!

chrispeaper: Eek! It's not Burberrry - my bed is ugly but it's not that ugly :-)

george said...

have a safe trip and lots of fun........looking forward to the pics......(i didn't really want to stab was the pain talking)

Mike said...

Pleased to read you packed that fur-lined trappers hat. The hat is sweet!!!

nylon said...

Check this out:

Edd.D said...

1: One pair of brown leather Gucci boots (which I don’t like wearing in adverse weather conditions because I’m scared I’ll ruin them),

My grandmother told me the more expensive something costs the more recklessly you must wear it. If feels very liberating, you own the gucci not the other way round.

Plus I could circumnavigate the globe on half the clothes your taking. (although last month I did take a seperate vuitton of shoes to Banus.)