As we continue with the Rugby World Cup Final Week obsession, here’s a story that comes from Mean and Mean insists that it’s true, but at the end of the day we’ll believe what we like.
So on Wednesday last week Mean is in Paris for some work thing (who knows and who cares about specifics to be honest) and staying in a hotel in Neuilly called Courtyard by Marriott “where the England Rugby team are also staying” (ahem). Mean tells us that at some point he’s in the lift and the following things happen:
- A guy walks in and says hi in a “I’m being polite so leave me alone” way
- The guy is blonde and wearing a t-shirt that says Rugby on it (like the one Jonny Wilkinson is wearing in the post here), tracksuit bottoms and Crocs (blue)
- Mean thinks that this guy has the best body he’s ever seen, because he has really big shoulders and a small waist (a perfect V shape) and he can tell that even though he’s wearing all these clothes as we said
- When they get out of the lift the guy walks up to the reception and starts complaining about his room being too close to the lift and the lift is too loud and doesn’t let him sleep and is generally being a bit arsey
- Mean doesn’t hear the rest because he walks away. He also omits to take any pictures
So this is what happens in Paris on that Wednesday morning and then Mean comes back to London.
On Thursday we’re emailing each other casually and then he decides to tell me the story, suddenly “realizing that the guy in the lift was Josh Lewsey”. And he didn’t recognize him immediately because “he’s shorter than he thought”, but now he’s convinced that it was him. I don’t know. Do we believe him or not?
I mean fair enough, Josh is 5’10”, so probably shorter than you imagine (especially when you’ve seen the 8ft poster I’ve got of him in my living room), but come on, you’re staying in a hotel with the England rugby team, you share a lift with a blonde muscular guy wearing a Rugby top and it only occurs to you 24 hours later that it was that sweet little bunny, Josh? I don’t know.
I suspect that I have actually come closer to meeting Josh than Mean has, and I have photographic evidence:
Finally, I discovered this advert recently (it may have been played 3 years ago for all I know but I just saw it) which features Josh and some footballers and a dog.
The concept is very simple but effective and it basically revolves around Josh and his dog trying to convince us that Rugby is so much better than Football. I would be more easily convinced if Josh weren’t wearing a top, but the dramatization used here instead to achieve this involves:
- A group of unfit Sunday-league type straight blokes are kicking a football around
- One of them is annoying everyone else with his lack of skill / unjustified showmanship / whiny, common, shouty London accent
- Josh walks in the shot from a distance, wearing a long dark coat, dark shirt, jeans and holding a Staffordshire bull terrier (I am making this up, I have no idea what breed that dog is). From the outfit and the direction of this clip (several frames looking up at Josh trying to make him look tall) I deduce that we are supposed to be intimidated by him. He represents Rugby and Rugby is not a game for boys, it’s a game for men (or something). Instead he comes across a bit like a gay version of The Matrix in that stupid coat
- The ball gets kicked near Josh, Josh’s dog proceeds to piss on it, the piss ends up on the annoying guy’s face, everyone learns their lesson
And there you have it. I’m very proud of myself that I still like Josh after watching this and I can only take it as further proof that I love him enough to forgive him anything (including the Crocs), especially as at some point in the advert, he’s referred to as “the big fella, the big ol’ fella over here”.
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