Monday, 8 October 2007

Monday 08/10/07

On Sunday night I go to bed around 2355 and as always I must turn my light off before midnight because otherwise I will get really unsettled, and because of that I don’t really have time for my bedtime reading (another activity that MUST happen), so I decide to just read the short review extracts on the back cover of American Psycho. You know, those bits that praise the book lifted from newspapers and magazines that you didn’t know existed like the New Statesman and the Scotsman? I’m thinking this should only take a couple of minutes.

So I read those, and one of them (Maria Lexton from Time Out) says:

”…American Psycho examines the mindless preoccupations of the nineties preppy generation…”

Well let’s not concern ourselves with the fact that this is partly wrong because the book was written and is set in the 80s, but focusing on this part: “…preppy…” makes me think. I had never considered Bret Easton Ellis’ writing as preppy-related. In fact I started reading and liking his books long before I had an idea of what preppy even was.

And reading this pisses me off a bit, because I’m thinking, am I really that predictable and do all my interests have to be linked to each other as part of the same general theme? So in order to prove how unpredictable and impulsive I can be, I decide to break my pattern and the best thing I can come up with on Sunday night at 2358 is that I should sleep without socks (t-shirt still tucked in underpants though – I’m not gonna go completely off the rails).

And sadly this doesn’t seem to work for me and I spend the following two hours unable to sleep, thinking how much I need to be wearing socks right now and with my mood varying from slight annoyance to worrying hallucinations that I’ve found myself naked in a wet, cold cave somewhere and the only thing that can save me is the pair of socks I’ve placed on the floor next to me bed, in case of an emergency like this. So around 0200 I put on my socks and go to sleep.

On Monday I spend quite some time thinking about something a friend of mine recently did, and this something is a mixed threesome. Of course I can’t say who the friend was, but I can say that the experience involved two guys and a girl, and allegedly plenty of fun. This is something that has intrigued me for quite some time now, so once again I will have to ask your contribution. I think I would like to try that. Is there anyone who would like to put an offer on the table? As always I have some specifications, which are:

- I’m afraid you’ll both have to be very fit. This is very important – I don’t want to average straight couple of beer-drinking / pub-frequenting / crap-chest-haired guy with thin arms and whatever the female equivalent is (I don’t have much experience in that gender)

- You know those couples where the guy goes to the gym a lot and likes clothes and takes care of himself and all his mates take the piss and call him a ponce and the girl has straightened blonde hair and a fake tan and is marginally anorexic (or bulimic – I don’t mind) and talk about handbags with her girlfriends? This is who I want

- Ideally you’ll already be a couple, not two random people that came together for this threesome, because I think that’s sexier

- We can discuss the rules of how this will work at a later stage, I do have some specific ideas but I’m also open to suggestions

Finally, I understand that this blog might not have huge readership amongst straight couples (let alone straight couples of my specifications), so please, if you’re a gay and reading this and thinking – oh that sounds like something my friends Matthew and Kate might be interested in (random names used), do let them know.

I guess the initial stage will be to email me and send pictures (body shots will do to start with), so get to it.

I actually expect zero response to this, but it will be nice to be proven wrong.

I have 2 songs by Daniel Powter and I've played them 11 times
I have 8 songs by Dannii Minogue and I've played them 192 times
I have 1 songs by The Darkness and I've played it 2 times


daze said...

Mixed threesomes, is it the woman thats different (to the mix) or the type of man? the straight man type and how he would behave in that situation? - think it's great to fully explore sexuality and not live with a rigid label. interesting with the right intentions, silly with the wrong. x

London Preppy said...

daze: Mixed, as in mixed genders

Jon said...

I'm sure you've thought about this, but why are you being so narrow in what you're asking for? (a woman, an attractive woman, an attractive woman who's in a relationship with an attractive man)

Also, are you thinking that the only way to break out of this funk is to do this, or is this just one option? I wonder if while you're having sex with the couple you find, you'll be worrying about the same things as when you were sockless.

Willow said...

You know those couples where the guy goes to the gym a lot and likes clothes and takes care of himself and all his mates take the piss and call him a ponce and the girl has straightened blonde hair and a fake tan and is marginally anorexic (or bulimic – I don’t mind) and talk about handbags with her girlfriends? This is who I want

I think Becks and Posh already get plenty of offers. Plus, they're in California now, aren't they?

London Preppy said...

jon: I will definitely be keeping my socks on during all the sex

willow: You're on the right track. Keep looking more locally!

Mike said...

I don’t have any experience with mixed threesomes myself, but I have two bi-female friends who have dated mixed couples.

One friend hooked-up with an ex-boyfriend about six months after he got married. He told his wife. His wife wanted to meet my friend. They met and the three of them started dating for about six months, then it got too intense they had to stop. The married couple divorced a year later. And my friend is still good friends with the wife. They are both high school teachers. The husband is completely out of the picture.

My other bi-female friend dated a couple (again male-female) for about three months, but had to dump them. My friend said quote “I would go over to their place to get laid, and the guy was fine, but the woman would always want to chat and share like all women do. I couldn’t take the chatting and sharing anymore. I had to dump them.”

The second friend above met her couple online - they were specifically looking for female third. You might also want to try fetish parties. I'm sure you could find a fit couple there, plus the parties are a lot of fun. The key might be (and I'm only guessing) to get the girl turned on first.

Tim in Italy said...

I had a beautiful boyfriend from Old Blighty back when I was a lad. He insisted on sleeping in socks, underpants, pajama bottoms, T-shirt, ear plugs and a blind fold. The room had to be frigid and totally dark. He even kept a roll of duct tape next to the bed to tape the curtains shut should any errant light find it's way in. Needless to say, all of this was dispensed with if we had sex before sleeping and since I dislike snuggling with a teddy bear...

Yeah, okay, mixed three-some, what would you like to know? (The fact that I know about this can't honestly surprise you.) The point behind such activity is to free yourself from sexual assumptions and labels, and so provide a platform for experimentation. Him with you, you with her, two on one, etc. Ideally, "no boundaries" is the watchword. Are you ready for that? I would suggest NOT choosing a couple who already know a good deal about one another, unless you'd just like to sit back and watch, but rather two strangers as new to this experience as you are. That way you can grow and experiment together. Either way, I'm sure you'll have no problem finding volunteers.

Mike said...

I forgot to add that at fetish parties there are always a few preppies, as well as a significant number of Wall Street types dressed as non-preppies. It’s not unusual to find a woman dressed for a polo match (huge hat, dress, pearls, gloves) leading around her man who is on all fours, on a leash, dressed in tight leather shorts and harness.

Trevor said...

Ah, I love reading your blog, you never quite know which way you're going to turn. And I love the autoanalysis along the way.
Keep up the good work - and good luck finding the mystery couple.

chrispeaper said...

Do they have to be in Zone 1?

Do you have seperate bed socks reserved for non outdoor usage

fuzzy logic said...

Where's the bum bum in your survey? I want an Other Specify...

London Preppy said...

mike: If I have to get the girld turned on first I have no chance! Girls never have and never will fund me attractive

tim: That guy soudns like me. Doen to the ear plugs and sleeping mask! Do we still have his contact details - I may have discovered a soul mate

chris: Ha ha! No, they can be from outside Zone 1. I accept guests - I just won't travel

fuzzy: Good point. But I thought I'd leave bum bum out because there isn't much i can do to work it out I guess. You have what you're given in those terms...