Last week at some point, we receive this email from the company secretary:
“I have arranged for our offices to have a full spring clean one Saturday this month. This would mean that someone would need to be in the offices with the cleaners. It should take about 4 hours, and if you come in you would be entitled to a day in lieu, you would be able to choose which Saturday……any offers ??
I obviously hit reply to this within 3 seconds (“Yes please”) and beat 8 other candidates who just weren’t quick enough in their desperation to have a day off or were just slow readers (I don’t know which one is worse). So this is what I’m doing this Saturday morning.
On Thursday this week I receive this text from my agent: “Chelsea football players body doubling commercial. Casting this Saturday (casting director xxx xx). Role: body doubling Chelsea players. Will be mainly close-ups of arms ands legs so must be toned and muscled like footballers. Football skills less important than looks (though must have played a bit in past). Up for cast?”
So I say yes to this as well and it turns out they want to cast me and this is what I’m doing this Saturday afternoon.
Now here are two points that were left over from yesterday: d) naked pictures of my and my friends and e) things you bought for me indirectly:
d) Naked pictures.
As I’m trying to be less pornographic and tragic these days I’m really not excited about the prospect of putting up more shirtless self-pictures on here, but they were recently requested and when I mentioned it yesterday there was a number of comments of people who also wanted them. I will refrain from feeling disappointed at this point because in a recent poll about 60% of respondents say they come back here for the stories and only 15% said they come back for the pictures and this is exactly how we want it to be. But you know, maybe there needs to be a balance, so here is some photographic evidence that I am still shallow and vacant.
Scott and me at DTPM:
Donnell and me at DTPM:
Me I guess:
e) Things you bought for me.
This week I went on ebay and as part of a recent endeavour to turn the whole of my casual wardrobe pink and green, I bought the following two t-shirts. I used the donations you have made on paypal to pay for these, so thank you very much, I guess these are presents you have bought me then, involuntarily contributing to my pink and green plan. As soon as postmen in the UK decide to get off their arses, put an end to their strike and deliver these to me I will take some pictures and post them.
Finally, this is what I’m wearing on Friday and it’s a pair of Diesel jeans, green Ralph Lauren belt, white squash trainers and pink American Apparel polo shirt. This is the second pink American Apparel polo shirt that I’ve bought in a week, because the first one (size extra small) is a bit too tight and inappropriate for and office environment even on a dress-down Friday (great for personal life though). So I had to go and buy one on size small as well for less pornographic use.
This outfit says I may be well-bred and proper but I’m also so fucking active and sporty that I have to wear squash trainers all the time in case I walk into an impromptu tournament.
I have 1 song by Dakar & Grinser and I've played it 5 times
I have 14 song by Damien Rice and I've played them 239 times
I have 1 song by Dana Dawson and I've played it 29 times