Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Wednesday 26/09/07

On Tuesday night I’m waiting for my delivery from Tesco and the time slot that I’ve been given is 2000 to 2200. So it’s now 2215 and it’s not there yet so I call Tesco and Tesco have no idea where the delivery guy is and they can’t get hold of him, so they give me a refund for my delivery charge, which is alright I suppose.

Then at 2240 the delivery guy arrives and apologises and then lets me know that there are a couple of substitutions. And the most hilarious one is when they try to give me a ready meal of chicken with dumplings instead of plain chicken breasts. Dumplings! And in an ideal world where I have no shame and I’m even more cynical and apathetic and a bastard (not unlike Patrick Bateman), I laugh and lift my shirt up and point at my abs and ask him when he thinks the last time I had fried complex carbohydrates is. But in real life I just say that no, I wouldn’t like the ready meal of chicken with dumplings replacement so I get a refund.

Then I put the shopping away listening to Mono by Courntey Love and Innocence by Bjork and Big on Japan by Alphaville and then I go to bed.

On Wednesday morning I wear some navy pinstripe trousers from the Gap and black leather Hugo Boss shoes and black H&M socks and a Hugo Boss belt and a white shirt with very thin brown stripes from Marks & Spencer with silver Gucci cufflinks and a Gucci watch and a maroon cardigan from Fred Perry and I go to work.

Work is very busy but I dare log on to gmail for 2 minutes at lunchtime in order to email AXM and ask them if they’ve received my article that I sent 9 days ago now, but by the time I’m writing this they still haven’t replied.

And here’s a list of things that I do every day invariably, and if I failed to do them it would really piss me off and it would really mess with my head:

- I do not get on the tube unless I get hold of Metro (the free newspaper), because I would not be able to handle the 10 minute tube journey to work without reading something. Because by the time I get to the tube station the newspapers have run out, getting hold of one involves a) looking through the bins around the station and/or b) getting on the train that goes the opposite direction first to look there, because it’s less busy and there are usually some papers left behind

- When I get in the office I turn on my PC and sit at my desk keeping an eye on the kitchen area. I only go to the kitchen and fill my 1.5lt bottle of water once everyone that’s making coffee / getting breakfast has left, because I don’t want to go near people and have to say good morning / make small chat

- During work, I eat / have snacks at the following times, with no fail: 1100, 1315, 1500, 1720. If I have meetings / other extremely urgent work to do at those times I move the meals just before I go in the meeting. If I fail to do that I will get hungry and I will not be very pleasant or productive in that meeting

- When I get home after the gym, there is a 10-minute period where nobody must talk to me. Well, that’s easier now that I live on my own, but even if Scott is there or we go home together or something, he knows to leave me alone. That’s because in those 10 minutes I prepare my gym bag for the next day, prepare my food for the next day and choose my clothes for the next day. If I don’t do these things I can’t chat or relax or watch TV or anything

- My light has to be off before 0000 every night if it’s a school night. And I have to have read for to least 5 minutes before the light goes off, because that gives me a sense of relaxing (even if it’s very rushed reading) and like everything is going according to plan and I have no stress. Of course nothing ever goes according to plan and I never have no stress, but this is an illusion I like to create for myself

- In bed I have to wear socks and a t-shirt and underpants and the t-shirt has to be tucked in the underpants, otherwise I can’t sleep and I don’t care how this looks or that I’m the guy who tucks his t-shirt in his underwear at night

I have 1 song by Corey Hart and I’ve played it 7 times
I have 2 songs by Corinne Bailey Ray and I’ve played them 4 times
I have 1 song by Cornelius and I’ve played it 5 times

Number of days since I sent my new article to AXM but haven’t heard back yet: 9


FireFawkes said...

Do we get to see a pic of you in the work gear? Sounds much sexier than the rubber mask...

What strange OCD you have (well if you can say certain OCD symptoms are stranger than others.)

For Metro emergencies you should get yourself an iPod touch. Sync it to download a paper in the morning before you go to work and you can sit and read it/show off with it on the tube.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Wow... and your admitin to all that ;o) well at least your honest about your quirks.

I totally think you should have asked the delivery guy that.

Dude have you ever heard of a book? You can always use it if you don't get a Metro. So how'd you get to work if you don't find a Metro in the morning?

And finally - OMG re: tucking your tee into your underpants - that is some pretty strange shit.

Take it easy.

tyler said...

we all have our routines: they help us get through the days and therefore through our lives. routine makes us comfortable. chaos would throw us over the edge..whatever our own personal edge is, that is.
your blog today is very bateman-ish which i'm sure is on purpose, huh?
what do you think of the film of "american psycho?"
most of the photos i have seen of you have been of you w/o clothing so it's nice to read that you actually wear clothing to work.
i know that you know of mylene farmer but have you heard of zazie? (la pluie et le beau): good stuff.
speaking of courtney love: i was once, about a year or so ago, called to jury duty in downtown la and saw courtney love there, outside the courtroom with her retinue looking disheveled and surrounded by marshalls and paparazzi. bizarre. i just watched with my mouth agape taking in the fellini-esqueness of it all.

Silly Billy said...

Hahaha. Funny, but I sleep with my t-shirt tucked in too. Usually into my soccer (Um, I mean football) shorts I wear to bed.

If I don't tuck it in, my t-shirt winds up as a noose around my neck, or at least halfway up my back.

Fuck it, I should just sleep shirtless.

S said...

I didn't think anyone else tucked their t-shirt into their underwear! It does look odd, but it is comforting somehow... secure. The honesty of this blog is what keeps me coming back. Thanks for sharing with us.

Mike said...

Word on getting caught in a small talk conversation in the office kitchen, especially if the co-worker wants to share personal stuff about their kids or vacations or crap like that. I have no interest and I don’t care! I’m only in here to get my cup of coffee.

You know what else I hate is having to say “Good Morning” to fellow employees EVERY morning. I wish I could say “Good Morning” ONCE a week on Monday Morning and that would suffice for the whole week.

Once a month would be even better, but that might be pushing it.

London Preppy said...

firefawkes: Alright, I'll post picture in the work gear tomorrow (I went on the toilet and took one earlier today after seeing your comment)

soul seared dreamer: I would love to read a book but for a journey that lasts 8 minutes I don't think it's worth it

tyler: Yes, it was a bit Bateman-esque wasn't it! Well with time I might develop my own style :-)

I absolutely hate all the film adaptations of BEE books. No wait this would mean I care for them. I'm absolutely indifferent to all the film adaptation of BEE books.

silly billy: I would love to sleep shirtless too but that's always too cold!

s: Well, I can be honest because writing it on here it feels like a different person, on not me!

mike: That's true. I wouldn't say good morning to my housemates who were my friends and I liked them, why would I have to say it to co-workers?

seahorse1979 said...

haha brilliant! t in undies wif soks...lov it so cute and so hostellish boarding school days it sends me back in time. uh hum cough just tight little boxies w/o shirt does the trick! Love th HB look today. Tried on my New HB jeans, frilled tuxedo looking shirt with funky hunky belt, ALDO shoes and VIRGIN AIRWAYS soks hahaha! Then walked into HB after 3pm to see what the prices were in comparison to the ones i have which were bought for me in Palma over July. Great! they dont stock it yet lol.
So we all have our little habits of 'cross-dressing' which keep our sanity levels balanced. Aint life wonderful...have a cracking Thursday.
P.S. Metro will not be available this thursday due to mechanical faults at printers. Any luck, the tube will still be running! TC

DJ said...

Hey LP,

Long time no see since we are both taking a break from the clubs. The break has been refreshing!

Your daily routine made me laugh! Sounds like mild OCD. My flatmate is a bit like you and when I want to annoy him I move things around in the kitchen and change the order of the knives and forks or put the spoons both ways round.

So if someone opened your drawers (not the drawer with the masks and nipple clamps) would everything be perfectly folded? And does everything have its place in your flat and you don’t like people moving stuff around?

D from Clapham

London Preppy said...

seahorse1979: Are you serious about the Metro??? I seriously better take a book

dj: Hi D, great to hear from you! Hope you're enjoying the non-clubbing as much as I do :-)

As for moving things around, you have no idea. Sometimes I go in the office and Fuzzy Logic will have re-arranged my stuff in my desk (ti piss me off) and it drives me crazy! Also when I watch TV with Scott sometimes he moves the remote controls around (which I keep perfectly lined up) for the same reason. Grrr...!

Hope to see you soon

DJ said...

Too funny! It all sounds very familiar, especially the bit about the remote controls. It is good to see Fuzzy has started blogging again.

The non clubbing has been great, you have more energy during the week and can actually do more with the weekend. The last time I was in Fire was back in May, when I met my current BF. Neither of us have been back since. Maybe forced to put in a guest appearance in mid October as one of my best friends is moving to Aus and it will be his last whirl around the dance floor! What’s a best friend to do?

Will no doubt bump into you soon in Soho! Until then I’ll keep enjoying reading about your adventures.

seahorse1979 said...

lol Metro bit a tease, take a valium and calm down it, will be fine, if anyfink take the previous days paper and reread in case u missed anyfink, should last 10 mins haha...
OCD has its pros though, domination with control all else bows down to you in the end. The madness of King George?...great atleast we have our personalities!

Kosmo said...

can i marry you? i think the order you bring to life would be good for me

Russell said...

8 minutes on the Metro could be 8 hilarious minutes reading A Confederacy of Dunces ....

Your one chance every 24 hours to be free - not wearing anything in bed - and you're all cocooned!

Open the window (fresh air), turn on the heater, and sleep naked.

I didn't know what your music was like 'till I heard the soundtrack on those disturbing videos. Now I know what the problem is. Don't you have any Beach Boys songs? No Motown?

London Preppy said...

kosmo: I think this might work. Hopefully you have lots of mess for me to sort out?

russell: Of course I have those things too - I just didn't think they were a fitting soundtrack for the images