As we all know I go to this gym in London that’s a chain, and they have 50 different sites or something, and I can go to whichever one I likes. And there are 3 gyms that I go to now plus 1 that I haven’t been to for over a year but I used to go every day. And these gyms are:
Gym A: The one I go to almost every weekday after work. It’s near work and not too gay and bigger than most of the others
Gym B: The one I go to occasionally because Scott works there, but I don’t particularly like it because it’s very small and boring
Gym C: The one I go to on some Fridays because some of my friends go there and it’s quite gay and not too big
Gym D: The one I used to go to every day which is very, very gay and quite big, and I will only go there again if I become single, desperate and decide that I like the interaction with international rentboys and destroyed scene queens
Now let me tell you about 2 different guys that I see in the gym occasionally and how they both don’t want to have anything to do with me, but one of them is nice about it and the other not.
Guy 1. Let’s call him Thomas. I see Thomas very occasionally in Gym A (my regular gym). I have never seen him out in a club. This is what we know about Thomas:
a) He has very big boobs and is very sexy
b) He has lots of tattoos, which I don’t usually like but I’m willing to overlook
c) He is generally very big and muscly, but at the same time soft – not steroid muscly. I haven’t touched him to confirm the softness but he looks soft
d) So his body looks a bit similar to mine, in terms of having round droopy boobs and big round arms but soft and fleshy, not really hard and steroidy. Mind you he’s a lot taller and bigger than me (like everyone)
e) He wears white trainers that have the green and red Gucci stripes on the side, but they’re not actually from Gucci. I know this because I looked at them one time when he was in the shower and he had left them there. I actually think it’s sweet how he wears mock-Gucci trainers. And they’re not blatantly fake either – I told you, I had to check to confirm, so that’s OK
f) He was at a house party I went to a couple of months ago and as I was surrounded by friends and feeling confident, I also asked him where he’s from, so we also know that…
g) He’s German
h) He obviously has no interest in talking to me, because if he did, he could take the opportunity after meeting me at the party and say hi in the gym, but he doesn’t
i) Also, he wouldn’t run out of the changing rooms every time we’re close to each other looking really embarrassed for fear that I’ll chat to him
Guy 2. Let’s call him Rashad. I see Rashad very occasionally in Gym C (on Fridays) and I used to see him a lot in Gym D when I went there. This is what we know about Rashad:
a) He is sexy in a different way.
b) He is quite dark and I imagine hairy, but I think he shaves his chest. He has permanent stubble and looks like he could be mixed race (Caucasian and Arabic?)
c) He always wears loose tracksuit bottoms that hang halfway down his arse, as this is his best feature and he wants to show it off
d) His body varies between very good (when he’s on a cycle of steroids) and just above average (when he’s off)
e) I often see him out in clubs, usually wearing jeans that hang half halfway down his arse (OK, we get it)
f) He’s English (I think)
g) The interaction I’ve had with him is asking about some exercise he was doing in the gym and also walking up to him in a club and saying hi, we go to the same gym, right?
h) He obviously has no interest in talking to me, because if he did, he wouldn’t pretend he doesn’t know who I am every time I say hi to him even if we’ve met each other at least 25 times now
i) Also, he wouldn’t turn to his friends and shrug his shoulders after I spoke to him in the club like I was some lecherous ugly guy trying to pick him up
So now that everyone in London knows who I’m talking about and these two guys can come and beat me up, let me say that I wrote this because, fine, both of them don’t like me and it’s obvious, but they have such different ways of making it known.
Thomas is nice and when I’ve spoken to him he was polite and cordial and he didn’t make me feel like I was stepping way out of line by saying hi. Rashad is less nice and when I’ve spoken to him he’s given me the impression that he was keeping one hand on the Mace spray in his back pocket and that I should have applied for a written permission from Buckingham Palace to speak to him first.
And I much prefer fake politeness than explicit rudeness, which is also what I try to practice, and if I’ve ever pulled a Rashad on you, I’m sorry.
EDIT: I need to make my self clear, because I've started getting comments from people. I don't want to talk to people in the gym. I want to be left alone too. If I wanted to chat I'd go to the gay gym where I know everyone and it would be more like going clubbing and less like training. I am comparing those two guys when I see them OUTSIDE the gym. Their general attitude. Not how they behave in the gym.
I have 2 songs by The Clash and I’ve played them 7 times
I have 1 song by Clayhill and I’ve played it 4 times
I have 1 song by Cleptomaniacs and I’ve played it 3 times
Number of days since I submitted my new article to AXM and haven't heard back: 3