On Fridays at work I choose to dress down, which means that I can wear jeans and occasionally a t-shirt and this is a trend that quite a few people follow, even though it’s not official company policy. There are of course people who dress like tramps every day of the week, but we are not here to judge. Or concern ourselves with those losers.
This Friday though I’m going for dinner and to the theatre after work and I arrange to wear something that would also look alright there. And this something is a pair of Energie jeans, my H&M pink shirt (tucked in obviously), a Louis Vuitton belt that’s falling apart even though it’s not fake, a military style grey cardigan from Reiss and Gucci loafers. And here’s a picture of what this looks like which I take before I leave home.
Sorry about all the clothes chat, but I do like clothes a lot, even though not as much as some gays who work in fashion or read Arena Homme + or refer to Dolce & Gabbana as “Dolce” of course. I don’t really have an interest in fashion itself to be honest; I just think that I have an OK perception of what goes and what doesn’t.
Anyway, I wanted to dedicate the rest of this post to women. No wait, come back, we’re only gonna slag them off. Well some aspects of them only, I’m sure they’re really great otherwise.
Some gay men have lots of girlfriends. I have never really been able to do that. With 1-2 exceptions, I really don’t have any long term female friends. The main reason for this is that women just don’t like me or get me – both on a physical and an emotional level.
When I wasn’t aware of being gay yet and was trying to go out with girls, they just didn’t want to know. I think that when I get close to a woman, a chemical imbalance occurs and she becomes repulsed by me, because they really, really don’t fancy me.
On a sociable level, we just don’t have anything to talk about and they mostly don’t get my sense of humour. It’s not like I’m so bloody masculine and talk about cars and sport all the time – for God’s sake my chat does involve celebrities and clothes a lot, but somehow that’s still not enough. I think that even on those topics of conversation my manner is a mixture of self-deprecation, pessimism and sarcasm, which just doesn’t translate to the opposite gender (mostly).
I must stress – I am generalizing here, because the VERY occasional girl does come along that I get on with, but I’m certainly not at ease with having a group of fag hags or whatever you want to call them.
And now just to piss off the last few female readers of this blog (sorry), I will list a few examples of annoying habits I can think of.
- When you’re in a crowded bar and somebody’s trying to get through and they jab you in the ribs or burn you with their cigarette, I find that most of the time once you turn around and look it’s a girl. This is because girls think the world owes them and they can get away with anything. Also men tend to be more careful in situations like that, because they don’t want to appear aggressive or be abrupt involuntarily as this might lead to confrontation and possibly a fight. Girls are less concerned, because they think that we won’t hit them back. In my case, being near the average height for a Northern European girl I would like to think that it’s fairer for me to fight girls than boys, so I’m not sure this rule applies to me
- When I’m in the gym and waiting for the water fountain, it often happens that a girl will come and try to cut it, ignoring the queue that’s already there. This is because girls think that all men are stupid and their actions are controlled by their sexual desires, so once again, they can get away with anything in return for some mild flirtation / batting of their eyelashes / whatever it is that they do. So yes, in all honesty men ARE stupid and their actions are controlled by their sexual desires, but on this occasion I’m so glad I’m gay and therefore immune to their feminine charms
- Er…that’s all I can think of really. So yes, I guess I went off on one against all women because some broad nudged me in a club once and another one stole my turn at the water fountain
I have 1 song by Courtney Love and I’ve played it 44 times
I have 6 songs by Craig Armstrong and I’ve played them 56 times
I have 1 song by Craig David and I’ve played it 4 times