Friday, 21 September 2007

Friday 21/09/07

So here’s a video that I’ve quite shamelessly stolen from another blog (I Drink At Work), but it impressed me no end and I couldn’t help myself from sharing it and ranting about it a bit. It’s taken from a TV programme here in the UK and it shows us what members of the Sandbach rugby team do to entertain themselves on a night out (and also in the showers / changing rooms before the night out). I don’t know where “Sandbach” is and I don’t care, but from their accents I can guess it’s nowhere near where I want to be.

The obvious reaction for a gay guy watching this is to think, oh my God they are so fit and sexy and all this straight boy laddishness is turning me on and phwoar wouldn’t I want to be in those communal showers etc.

You could also comment on the homosexual undertones of their interaction (in some cases overtones actually – particularly at the moment when they are mutually wanking each other), but I don’t really want to play that gay game, where we have to suspect every straight man as being gay. Some people are straight and that’s the end of it, you know? They are drunken rugby playing lads, this is what drunken rugby playing lads do.

Anyway, what I’m most impressed by is the sheer confidence they handle themselves with. These people do not have any insecurities, they don’t stay up all night thinking about a negative comment their boss made to them and they certainly don’t need 15mg of Valium to get a good night’s sleep.

The Alpha Male of this Alpha Male group is Tim. Throughout the video everyone is talking about Tim, comparing themselves to Tim and wanking Tim (both literally and metaphorically). We are told a lot about Tim’s “massive member” and we also get to see it a lot.

Please look at Tim walking out of the shower around the 15 second mark and see how he’s strutting in full-blown confidence in all his naked glory. Just look at the walk he walks, it’s amazing. It really doesn’t matter that he can’t spell “self-doubt”, because he will never ever need to use these words.

This is the guy that I would like to be ideally. But I guess tortured, bitter and alone is also good.

Click here to see the video

Anyway, let’s turn to the people who write in to the rubbish free London papers now and see what they’ve had to say over the last couple of weeks.

Chris from Islington tells us: “Shop workers aren’t snotty – we just have to put up with one arrogant customer after another, without biting our lips so hard we draw blood!”

I tell Chris: Ooh! Get you Chris! You’re a bit dramatic, aren’t you babes? Calm down dear, you’ll get wrinkles. Now go back to folding that scarf.

Andrea McLean from SW17 tells us: “Tradesmen rock! You guys were the only ones that gave up their seats when I was pregnant”

I tell Andrea McLean from SW17: Yes Andrea, all tradesmen have generous, giving souls, all office workers are sinister and evil, all hookers have kind, golden hearts and you live in a bloody Charles Dickens novel from 1843.

“Rah” from Farrington EC1 tell us: “Why do people who get seats first on a crowded train always fight those that stand the whole way to get off first?”

I tell “Rah” from Farrington EC1: “Rah”. Put that spliff down, turn off Bob Marley on your cassette player and you might get somewhere faster too.

Sarah from Essex tells us: “Mentally prepared to go to the gym and someone on train eating chips. Bugger”

I tell Sarah from Essex: Sarah. I’m not one to judge (shut up) but you sound fat. Tomorrow: Sarah is mentally prepared to go for a swim and changes her mind after spotting someone drinking a pint. The day after: Sarah is mentally prepared to run the marathon and pulls out after stepping on a chicken nugget by mistake. Get off your arse!

White Laura from London tells us: “Have other women noticed a recent upsurge in white men barging into them or shouldering them aside in central London?”

I tell White Laura from London: God, aren’t people weird. Who knows what race issues Laura has to motivate her to write in a newspaper with a rant and mention skin colour twice in 22 words. Alright love we get it – you got your revenge on Dad by getting knocked up by that black guy from school when you were 17. No one else cares.

“And” from E17 tells us: “To the lady who ran after me with my scarf and gent who got off the last train at Blackhorse Road to return my phone – thank you. Who says Londoners are nasty?”

I tell “And” (what is it with these stupid names?) from E17: Firstly stop dropping your shit around London hoping strangers will come and talk to you. Secondly, I wouldn’t be so happy love, you live in Walthamstow. You’ll probably get stabbed for your phone once you get off the train.

Helena from North London tells us about Kate Moss and her dress: “I was angry at the wanton destruction of that poor dress. When charities are appealing for clothes to send to Africa, it is unsettling that someone rich enough to wear something so beautiful should care so little about it”

I tell Helena from North London: Dear Birkenstock lesbian. You’re right. We should strip Kate Moss naked and send her dress to Africa for people to eat. You’ve solved all of the planet’s problems. And you thought all that you would achieve today was that tasty leek and beetroot soup you made for lunch.

Oh yeah and here's another shirtless picture, as I'm sure there's a greater interest in abs for the average person than reading all this above.

I have 5 songs by Client and I’ve played them 19 times

I have 2 songs by Clor and I’ve played it 4 times

I have 1 song by Club 69 and I’ve played it 0 times

Number of days since I submitted my new article to AXM and haven't heard back: 4


Knight said...

Nice shorts!!! And you look like you've been out in the sun a lot =) How do you get those "fuck me muscles" between the waist inward to the groin? very sexy!

London Preppy said...

knight: Well it's a summer picture, not taken now. I'm pale now. As for the muscles, I don't know...good light?

Gabriel said...

you are such a bitch. i love you - will you marry me? or will you have an illegitimate child with me?

London Preppy said...

gabriel: Constructive criticism!

Debola said...

Wow (first about your picture then the video)

That video is the porn film makers dream come true!

I want to join that Rugby team, really!!

As for the VERY gay "undertones" it's just boys being boys, that kind of thing is normal...
... in prison! or Bath houses all over the world!

You can't even do that at a regular club, what's that all about?

It was fun to watch tho, I plan on watching it over and over again ;)

tyler said...

boys gone wild clip: you're right of course it would be very easy to jump to conclusions based on what we see there but the fact is that str8 boys, partucularly who spend so much time with each other and who depend on each other to achieve a concrete goal...i.e. win a game, develop a kind of love and closeness that has nothing to do with sex.
i've seen this clip on my pal andre's blog but i still find it remarkable that these guys are so physically and emotionally open with each other but still go home to their wives and children or girlfriends at night. it is touching, really.
dayuum: at least gabriel could propose marriage before demanding to inseminate you....

S said...

I roared this morning while reading this. Office mates kept stopping by to find out what was so funny. Thanks. On another note, you have a fantastic body. I know it isn't exactly what you want, but trust me, you are the ideal for many others out there.

FitnessNerd said...

Frankly, it is just amazing to me how European athletes are so much more comfortable in their skin than athletes in the States. I am certain that the majority of those lads are just being lads, though you can be sure that one or two wouldn't say no if more happened. But hell, there are men and boys in the US who won't even get changed or shower in the locker rooms anymore because of the "gay menace." It is really quite sad, though it really says more about their insecurity. But then again, we were founded by the puritans. Go fig! :)

And London Preppy boy, you're gorgeous and witty, and I think I pretty much blush every time I see comment from you come through to my blog. :) So, it is kinda like Thomas running out of the locker room...

Jim said...

Well you certainly know your audience. Pithy comments and naked torsos. Thankfully you added soem insecurities so I don't feel all jealous and inadequate.

Oh, adn I think that person who kept losing things and having them returned was probably smashed.

London Preppy said...

debola: I think the nakedness happens in the rugby club fucntion room - not some normal bar/club So they can do what they like!

tyler: Of course! Gabriel is a genetleman and he knows how to treat a lady

s: Erm...well thanks :-)

fitnessnerd: Well thanks for commenting pointing out things that you you know I'd be interested in!

jim: That's right, I tried to cover all bases today. The voyers, the queens, those who feel sorry for me...everyone happy

Trybaby said...

Who's creepy hand is that to the top right of the round mirror?

DAMO said...

Remind me not to get on your wrong side! Roaaaaaarh! lol

Damo from some skanky made up (poverty stricken) northern town says:
I absolutely look forward to your reactions to the metro paper comments so much! They are a highlight of the day!

Lp says: Damo from some skanky made up (poverty stricken) northern town, highlight of your day? Don't go using that class excuse with me! You clearly have nothing to live for, so might I suggest that next time you see a bus, you get under it rather than on it.

Okay a lame imitation, but I tried lol

I do love your bitchy side! It is very hilarious!

And Client! good taste!!! Though I guess its Dubstar fir the naughties!

daze said...

I have circulated the video to about a million friends, sharing the love.,Lol - it is true 'pack' mentality and tylers comments ring true!

London Preppy said...

trybaby: That's a mystery to me as well ;-)

damo: I do feel quite guilty writing all this of course but it is kinda funny!

daze: It's definitely a sight to be seen by as many people as possible...

Skip said...

I'm rivetted by the video. yes, the men are fools, but they're happy fools. Go them!

More interesting are the women around them, who keep doing the dismissive "pinkie finger means small cock" gesture whilst at the same time hanging around with their hungry eyes and grabbing hands...

Meanwhile, loved the free paper letters.

London Preppy said...

skip: You're absolutely right about the women!

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