Sunday, 19 August 2007

Monday 19/08/07

So on Wednesday when I’m still in Athens, Scott sends me a text and tells me that AXM is out in London. At that point obviously I freak out and I ring straight back to find out a) which pictures have been used and b) what I have been quoted as saying. Scott doesn’t remember any of these things obviously (he hasn’t bought the magazine, he just saw it) so I send him back to the shop for a thorough description.

As in the previous post about the covers I’ve accidentally been on, here is a description of this new one.

Cover No.5: AXM September 2007

Good things about this cover:

- I only look 50% retarded
- At least I’m not grinning
- I’m wearing a red Kabbalah wristband which will work wonders in protecting me from the Evil Eye (or make people think I’m even more of a cunt, I’m not sure which)

Bad things about this cover:

- I don’t know what I’m doing with my right hand – perhaps stroking myself?
- I don’t know what I’m doing with my left hand either – why am I holding an orange baseball cap there, hmm?
- I look way too thin and not very muscly

“Interesting” fact about this cover:

- Seriously, I promise it will be my last one, as I’m never doing a photoshoot again

Anyway, my interview inside isn’t all that bad and I haven’t been misquoted on anything. It’s kinda boring though and I wish I could have given funny answers to the questions they asked me, but I’m not sure how humour comes across in print and I took the safe option of not taking the piss. Apart from where I say I only take my clothes of if a magazine is around.

This is another picture I took at the newsagent’s when I got back to London – here’s my daft, naked image squeezed between Janet Jackson, Posh and Becks, some guys making out on the cover of Gay Times, a completely destroyed bodybuilder and some naked broad on the cover of Front magazine (surely my female equivalent: a trashy, self absorbed whore). Classy.

Interestingly, the only person in this selection of magazine covers wearing any clothes is Janet Jackson. That’s 80% naked vs. 20% clothed magazine covers in September 2007.

Now then, what’s more exciting is that in the next issue I will be writing an article for AXM, so feel free to check that out in a month.

In the meantime, if you want to be nice:

a) Buy this month’s issue, so they don’t have a complete failure, make a huge loss, close down the magazine and blame my picture on the cover

b) Contact AXM and tell them how amazing the picture is / what a revolution in modern publishing this month’s cover has brought / how much you’re looking forward to reading my amazing insights next month.

Let’s face it we all know I just look like some stupid kid with neck cramp holding a hat in front of his crotch but you are supposed to be on my side innit.

I have 3 songs by The Bloodhound Gang and I've played them 20 times
I have 1 song by Blueboy and I've played it 7 times
I have 7 songs by The Bluetones and I've played them 37 times


FitnessNerd said...

I think your cover shot, especially, the shot with your interview are pretty fantastic. Yes, your hands seem a little weirdly placed, but when it is just you and a hat, I think hand placement is kinda hard to deal with. Maybe you should have held the hat up with your *ahem* ... well, that would have been for a different kind of magazine, right? :)

Florida Correspondent said...

Just to take the piss out of you, I made your latest AXM cover my new computer desktop, at least for the next week or so! Don't sell yourself short, it is a good magazine cover. I wish that I could see the rest of what is inside, but they don't sell it on the street corners in Florida!

Now that you are a celebrity, send me links to your other magazine covers and your published writing (by e-mail) and I will try to get you submitted to the NYC book agent that I told you about. See, it is not all bad!

Alex said...

Lookin forward to next months article . I reckon you smiling is the best bit on your new cover. It looks like someone has been tickling you with a feather to make you fall over mid-shoot.

Alex said...

Lookin forward to next months article . I reckon you smiling is the best bit on your new cover. It looks like someone has been tickling you with a feather to make you fall over mid-shoot.

Knight said...

Hey thanks for the tip ;-) Also, as much as you choose not to believe, I have to say you look GREAT in the issue, HOT and SEXY!!! For once, take the compliment =)

London Preppy said...

fitnessnerd: Believe me, my *ahem* was in no position to hold anything up at that point!

florida correspondent: Cool. Send me your email please?

alex: Thanks. I just finished writign the article, I really do hope they don't change theor minds...

knight: Fine fine, thank you very much :-)

Florida Correspondent said...

"alex: Thanks. I just finished writign the article, I really do hope they don't change theor minds..."

They are only going to change theor minds, if your commetn to alex is a satdnadriezd sapmlngi of yeor writign.

Jim said...

I hope this doesn't come off as unpleasant, but i have to say how much I enjoy knowing that someone that I would view out in a club as being so gorgeous and perfect has these inner struggles.

From the outside, people can see you on a magazine cover and assume you have no worries. "Must be nice to be him."

And then here you are, in all your humanity, reminding us that we all have struggles with accepting ourselves no matter how attractive others perceive us to be.

Though you'll have a tough time accepting the compliment, you look great on the cover. Your hand doesn't look oddly placed. The hat could have been a better prop, but you have no control over that part. And you're expression (yes, I went and looked at the unblocked version) is perfect for that "come on and buy me and this magazine" look.

The Kabbalah string? Since I live in L.A., I promise you I'd make a comment about it behind your back.

Oh, and your dad apparently didn't notice that you've done a little "manscaping" down south?

Trybaby said...

Is it just me or is the placement and position of you right foot very unfortunate? It looks like you have very low ummmm "hangers" ?

London Preppy said...

florida correspondent: Ahem. I'll make sure to spell check...

jim: Thanks a lot for saying all this. Without wanting to sound conceited, I think this is why I like writing this blog and people like reading it. On first sight somebody might think that I'm cocky and arrogant just because I pull a funny face in some pictures. And I hope that reading all my thoughts kinda shows that this is not the case.

trybaby: That would have been VERY low hangers :-) But I can't say I didn't see that and think the same thing myself!

LordNelson said...

You look good, dont be so damned self depreciative :P

Gabriel said...

lp: you are a prize catch - prolific writer, funny, smart and fit. don't knock yourself down. congrats on a fab cover :)

Al said...

Jim is right. As a scrawny gay guy I would never think of speaking to you in a club and I expect visa versa, but I LOVE this blog. (Do all your friends have huge pecs?)

Gorgeous body and face aside,you are a guy with the usual hang ups and concerns, but you write about them so well.Your stories and observations really make me laugh.

I blame you for the fact that I have done f*ck all the last few afternoons at work! I am busy trawling through the achives.


Steven said...

Whatever the reaction - good, or bad - just remember that you're on the cover of an international magazine!

How many people can say that who aren't in rehab, going through a divorce, or suffering from an eating disorder?

Anonymous said...

you are insane or blind if you think you aren't "muscly".

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