On Thursday I go to the gym and I do shoulders and I listen to David Gray on my iPod (the White Ladder album all the way through), which surely makes me possibly straight and definitely boring, because I’m not sure I have met a gay person before who has even a passing interest in David Gray.
Anyway, at the gym there is also this guy (let’s call him Tom) who I think is very sexy, and here are the things that we know about this guy:
- Tom is gay. I know that because he is with another gay guy who I recognize and even though Tom doesn’t look gay to the untrained eye, I can obviously tell
- Tom is not a queeny or camp or well-groomed gay. He is the gay that I would aspire to be if I didn’t look like an 18-year old and had the ability to grow chest hair / a full beard etc. I imagine he goes to Crash. Sadly, I can’t look like a rough, masculine sexy guy (like Tom), so I have to do my best with what I was given
- Tom wouldn’t dream about trimming his leg or armpit hair. And if he did it would look stupid on him, but now he looks perfect
- People like Tom are not attracted to people like me. They are attracted to people like Tom. Hence, the only time Tom looks at me, is when I’ve given him so many sideways glances that even a brick wall would realize and turn around and look
- I find this healthy to some extent actually, because it means that no matter how many people tell you that you are fit and sexy etc and no matter how many magazines choose you to be on their cover, there is an equal amount of people out there, who wouldn’t give a shit about you and your look. It’s good to keep that in mind
- At moments like this, I am very glad I’m in a relationship, because if I weren’t I would probably try to flirt with Tom and I would get very disappointed. At least now I can pretend I didn’t even try
Anyway, this all happens in the gym and then I go home and put my nipple clamps on but I’m still in pain from yesterday and can only wear them for half an hour or something. As the nipple clamp picture that I posted yesterday though proved to be quite popular (well actually equally loved and hated really), maybe I should start having more extensive looks in my drawers and see what other leather / torture devices I can find. And then post pictures of them.
Let’s start with an innocent, inconspicuous harness I found.
On Friday at lunchtime I go swimming (it’s very warm in London today) and then I go and buy a pair of shorts (very thin blue and white vertical stripes) to wear on the flight to Athens next week. These shorts are longer than what I would usually wear (knee length), therefore parent-friendly. I am planning to wear them with my brown loafers that I bought recently and a polo shirt, which should give the impression that I’m a nice upper-middle class, preppy 27-year-old with a healthy balance between his work and (straight) personal life. I.e. I will walk straight into that will.
Another thing that occurs to me on Friday is that all my underwear is gay. Well, they’re not thongs or animal print briefs or anything, but they’re 95% from Aussiebum. I actually don’t get this – why do I have to buy products that are targeted at a gay audience by using pictures of formulaic, shiny, groomed half-naked men? I blame myself for being an idiot and falling for this really, I guess when I came out 2 years ago I wanted to fit in with every other gays and quickly replaced all my old underwear with Aussiebums. And have continued buying them since.
Now, 2 years later, I am actually quite embarrassed when you can see my waistband and it screams Aussiebum at you. It just says: I’m just somebody who goes to the gym every day, goes clubbing every two weeks and looks at the pictures in QX to see who he’ll recognize. Oh wait, that’s exactly who I am.
Anyway, I can be hypocritical if I want and I’ll continue doing these things, but with wearing different underwear. Tom from the gym wouldn’t wear them, why should I? So I make the decision that I’m not buying any more Aussiebums ever again. Even though they’re very cheap.
I have 1 song by Black Box and I've played it 27 times
I have 3 songs by Black Eyed Peas and I've played them 1 times
I have 3 songs by Black Grape and I've played them 6 times